Real stories

Christmas is bittersweet for families living with dementia

What it's like to be a Dementia Adviser

"As a Dementia Adviser, I more often than not meet families who are struggling."

At Christmas, a time usually filled with joy and festivities, the tough moments can feel even harsher. 

"You may understand how dementia can take its toll on family life. In fact, you might have even experienced the same pain so many families grapple with when Christmas gets smaller. Quieter. Darker. Scarier.

I’ve met hundreds of husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, who are slowly losing their loved ones to dementia, and don’t know how to cope with what was once the happiest time of the year. 

For many carers, it’s impossible to imagine how their loved one will respond to the changes in routine, the busy households, the bright lights. 

It all feels like too much. If this sounds familiar, please know you are not alone."

Helping families cope with dementia at Christmas

"In my role, I’m proud to help just a fraction of these families adapt their festive celebrations to fit the needs of their loved ones living with dementia, and reimagine a Christmas that works for them.

One of the lovely families I have had the pleasure of supporting is Lesley and her daughters. Lesley was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in November 2021. The first time I met Lesley and her daughter Katie, it was obvious they were a close-knit family. 

But even though Katie and her sisters were doing all they could to support their mum, they simply did not have the knowledge of dementia they needed to give her the best possible care."

Practical changes to help with dementia

"The first time we spoke, I could hear the relief in Katie’s voice. Christmas was around the corner and Katie and her sisters had no idea how to manage the big day. Once Christmas cards started to arrive, it was clear Lesley would struggle even more than Katie had imagined.

Mum didn’t know how to open an envelope and how to physically take out a card.

It was heartbreaking to share the reality of the situation with Katie. Christmas would never be the same again for her family. But I was also able to share practical changes that would work for Lesley."

Adapting to life with dementia

"Christmas this year will look different again for Lesley’s family, because the progressive nature of dementia means that someone’s needs can change a lot in a year. 

The support us Dementia Advisers offer is always tailored to each person’s individual requirements, and we can continue to be there for as long as people need us.

Making a difference as a Dementia Adviser

I was so happy to be able to help Lesley’s family make Christmas work for them, and to help them adapt to life with dementia. It’s thanks to committed supporters like you that Dementia Advisers can be here with life-changing advice for families facing some of their toughest moments.

I know your support means so much to families like Lesley’s, so I’d like to say thank you for being there, and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, however you spend it."