Real stories

Determined to live my best life despite my dementia diagnosis

Stamp collecting has been a passion for Coral Bayley since she was 13 and she’s still collecting 57 years on.

‘I’ve got folders and folders,’ she says. ‘But they’re taking over the house, so I might take some of them to the local auction house and earn myself some money!’

Coral has travelled all over the world. First, because of her father’s job as an aeronautical engineer and later, as a sales and marketing consultant in the travel industry.

And, as she has picked up stamps in every country visited, there are quite a few in the collection!

Coral started life in Richmond, Surrey, with her parents and three brothers.

My dad was from Barbados and came to the UK with the Royal Air Force. He was playing in a cricket match in Cardiff when he met my mum. He bowled her over and the rest, they say, is history.

Taste for travel

Coral got her first taste of travel at nine, when her dad bagged a job in Trinidad.

A few years later he transferred to Kenya. But by that time, all four children were in boarding school – Coral in Hastings and her brothers in Bristol.

‘We only saw each other at school holidays but we had great times, and I considered myself a lot better off than some girls who only went home once a year.’

Coral stayed at the convent school in Hastings until after A levels and started working in banking.

‘I enjoyed it, but I knew there was more I wanted to do,’ she says.

Moving around a lot as a child obviously gave Coral the travel bug because her next job was tourism marketing.

Extensive travel was part of the job, and Coral says the highlight was being fortunate enough to fly on Concorde.

‘My brothers all work in the travel industry but none have been on Concorde so I have one up on them,’ she jokes.

‘We were flying to Barbados and the captain invited me into the cockpit. 

I will never forget the nose dipping as we came into land on the island. And although it was minus something outside, if you put your hand on the glass it was red hot. That was how fast it was.

‘It was a fabulous opportunity and something I will always be grateful for.’

 Coral with photos of her parents on either side of her, and of her three brothers.

New challenge

After several years in promotion, Coral fancied a new challenge. She saw a position advertised with Border Force, which carries out immigration and customs checks at UK airports and ports.

She spent the next eight years checking and stamping passports at Heathrow Airport before switching to Gatwick, where she worked for 10 years.

‘I regret leaving Heathrow because it was a much more exciting place to work,’ she says.

Coral had another reason to regret the move, as she eventually had to deal with an overzealous manager.

‘The manager called me into her office and said I would have to leave, as I was making too many mistakes and kept forgetting things.

‘I didn’t think I had and should have contacted the union, but I left as I didn’t want to stay somewhere that didn’t want me.

‘It was a shame because it was a brilliant job and I had a good rapport with my colleagues, who I am still in touch with today.’

Coral was devastated but picked herself up and secured a marketing role with Japanese airline ANA, where she worked until she retired at 66.

Massive shock

Although Coral had a full working life, the Gatwick manager’s words made her think. So at 64, she went to her GP and was assessed for dementia.

The diagnosis was Alzheimer’s disease, which came as a massive shock.

‘I had been forgetting things but I didn’t think I had a problem,’ Coral says.

‘It upset me, but I felt better when I decided to take control and do something to help myself.’

One of the first things Coral did was to take part in a dementia drug trial. In more recent years, she has contributed to Alzheimer’s Society groups, meeting others going through some of the same challenges.

Positive attitude with dementia

Coral maintains a positive attitude through her Christian faith.

‘I have never been resentful about having dementia and thought “why me?” because I believe everything happens for a reason and is part of God’s plan,’ she says.

And going to church twice a week, she has made lots of friends to go for coffee with, and who keep her smiling no matter what.

I’m quite happy with my own company but I still try to go out at least every other day because it’s not good for you to be stuck at home all the time, and I get exercise too.

Although Coral is living well independently, her family thought it would be safer if she gave up her car two years ago. She found that really tough.

‘Initially it was difficult because I was used to jumping in the car and heading off wherever I wanted,’ she says.

‘I was still working then too, so I had to get used to getting on public transport. But I got used to it and understood my brothers were acting out of love.’

New routine

On retirement Coral had to forge a whole new routine. However, she made sure it’s just as busy and productive as her working life.

She keeps her brain ticking over with crossword puzzles and jigsaws, challenges her general knowledge on daytime quiz shows and loves making a difference through her Alzheimer’s Society involvement.

Once a month, Coral heads off to meetings with Horsham Rusty Brains – one of the Society’s Dementia Voice local groups.

These groups bring together people with dementia to influence our and others’ work, and to talk to schools and businesses. It also gives people the chance to meet others who understand what it’s like to live with dementia.

I am the youngest in the group but it’s good to be open about something that people don’t generally talk about.

Coral gets a lot from taking part in Time for Dementia too. Through the programme, people with dementia give healthcare students insight into the realities of living with the condition.

Coral logs onto Zoom chats every three months and says, ‘I enjoy the chat and if I can help someone else that’s great.’

Still Coral

Coral’s family, who live nearby, are very supportive.

‘I wouldn’t wish dementia on anybody. It is something that is going to get worse, and you don’t know what the future will bring. But my family are always there for me.

‘Dementia hasn’t had a significant impact yet. I’m still Coral, I remember my friends and what I did last week, and my diary helps me keep track of important dates.’

Coral advises others newly diagnosed.

‘Make sure your family knows what’s going on, take your meds and keep up with your friends.

‘The diagnosis isn’t the end of the world. The worst thing you can do is sit in your house looking at the four walls. Get out, do things and be positive, keep your brain going and you can get through this.’

So what would she do with any spoils from her stamps at the auction?

I’m going on a cruise around the UK. You can’t take it with you, and I’ve been everywhere else!